tiptoeing through the used condoms
strewn on the piers
off the west side highway
sunset behind the skyline of jersey
walking towards the water
with a fetus holding court in my gut
my body highjacked
my tits swollen
I'm sore
the river has more colors at sunset than my sock drawer ever dreamed of
I could wake up screaming sometimes
but I don't
I could step off the end of this pier
but I've got shit to do
and I've an appointment on tuesday
to shed uninvited blood and tissue
I'll miss you I say to the river
to the water
to the son or
daughter I thought better of
I could fall in love with jersey at sunset
but I leave
the view
to the rats
and tiptoe back

-Ani Difranco

do you ever wonder why a person has been but into your life? what lesson are you supposed to learn from this person? it is a struggle to not get lost in this person and there is so much frustration with this person as well.

I would like:
boundaries
breaking patterns
letting go
being able to step away
not needed to save
getting to be me fully
to be seen clearly even with my shit there
to see others clearly even with their shit there
to be held
to break illusions
to be content with myself
to find peace in the solitude

i am feeling Origami is what I am needing to listen to