I've never had so much shit tied to a house before. I finally finished my move last night at 1am. I totally melted down. This has been like a month long process to move. I like that it didn't feel completely rushed but it also felt like it would never end. I packed the rest of my shit into the car and rounded up the animals. I got everyone in the car after many horrid scratches from the cats.

As soon as I started to drive off I melted down. Maybe just from relief of it finally being done. Maybe from being upset with my new roommate for kind of running off at the end of the finishing of the house. Maybe because I was in pain from somehow injuring my knee during all of this. Maybe because I was saying good bye to everything that I had ever had in the house and was really saying goodbye to it. Really recognizing that the part of me and my life in that house was done. I was also overwhelmed with the feeling of fleeing for my life. I felt like I had packed up my kids and was running in the night to get away. Something felt weird about the whole thing. Probably just lack of sleep. Maybe just feeling the freedom of my escape from this prison of a house.

As I drove Emma made the one of the most heart wrenching sounds I have ever heard. It was this very deep throaty meow that was so reflective of how my own heart was feeling inside of me. I thought I might split open with grief if only for a moment. I just felt so raw.

I am also nervous about this new living situation and all that is wrapped up there. I am moving into someone else's space for the first time. So feeling a little lack of control and adjusting and bending myself into that. So many wonderful things out there at this new space. I have to remember that I have so much beauty to live in now. My living space and my heart.